It was that time already... yard maintenance time. Good grief. Didn't I JUST do that?! Anyway, you know me, I hopped on ol' red, bottled water in the handy dandy beverage holder, and I was ready to go, thinking... I can do this. I can mow, edge, and weed eat my yard without swingicide and without toadicide... I hadn't even considered deer statue-icide and horsefly-icide. Quite a lead in, huh? Well, I think I should start with pic #1, just for those of y'all out there who are deriving some sick pleasure from my freakishly destructive lawn mower experiences... 
Poor guy didn't even see it coming. At least it happened instantly, no suffering. I swear, I didn't know he was there! Let me set this up though, shall I? I am mowing my lawn, taking extreme caution in avoiding the swing, the trampoline, the tree, the grill, the fire pit and the shed. In fact, it was while I was coming in tight around that shed that I noticed 4 visitors, unwelcome guests, more like. I took pictures so you can see why I might have been distracted from the job at hand. Let me just tell you that these things have a total span of about 3 1/2 to 4 inches, and they are just generally freaky. It's no wonder I killed the poor yard decoration. There were only 4, but I have 5 pics of them... don't know which one I shot two pics of... so... here you are...
I must admit... though I have gotten quite good at killing, even decent sized, spiders around the house, these things, these "garden spiders" scare the bejeebers out of me... so, though they aren't welcome, looks like they will be sticking around until I can get my exterminator to take care of them for me... It just so happens, he'll be stopping by tomorrow. Yes, yes, I know they aren't venomous, but good grief... Mini-Dew is all sorts of creeped out. So, you can see that with this level of distraction, it is understandable that I might accidentally run over a completely obstructed lawn decoration. Poor little guy. So, I guess that makes me 3 for 3... sigh. 
Oh, I haven't explained the horsefly-icide. OK, so I finish mowing the lawn, and it's time to edge, so I am out there doing a fabulous job, and I feel something on my elbow that feels like it's biting on me. I swat it off with my other hand and realize that it is a wamma-jamma horsefly. I am not talking a little horsefly, either. This thing was about 3/4 of an inch in size. So, I swatted it away, right? Then... this thing has the gumption to chase after me! So, I am briskly walking away from an attacking horsefly with a running edger. I do the only logical thing when this thing wouldn't get off my case, I started swinging the edger blade at it... I showed him. Trying to bite on me... he had SOME NERVE!
Anyway, the yard looks absolutely beautimus. :-)
Good night (Oh, it appears Tropical Depression Ingrid is hanging on for dear life...),
~Dewdrop
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Adventures in Yard Maintenance... Part 3 (not a post for arachnophobes...)
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Margret! Its that crazy neighbor again. She is running through the yard swinging that edger all over the place!.....and she seemed like such a nice girl.
ReplyDeleteGosh, I sure hope noone was watching me... they'll be coming to take me away, haha.
ReplyDeleteI'd hate to think what would happen if you were taking pictures while you were mowing...
ReplyDeleteMike, You might just be onto something there... cha cha cha.
ReplyDeleteHave you no shame dew??
ReplyDeleteKill two birds with one mower... oh gosh, that sounds awful in light of my recent lawn mowing incidents. I promise, I will not hurt any birds... it was just a figure of speech.
ReplyDeleteI should not have said anything...
ReplyDeleteOh come on... where is your sense of adventure?
ReplyDeleteThe poor deer! The spiders are just part of the landscape but that horsefly looks mutated! Oh wait-but now he is mutilated. Remind me not to ever piss you off. Running with an edger is worse than running with scissors. I know what you are going as on Haloween, You will give Jason and his knife a run for his money!!!
ReplyDeleteThat horsefly was definitely mutilated. The spiders are not an aspect of the landscaping that I am very fond of... and you're right, poor deer. People are already threatening to get me more yard decor for Christmas... sigh.
ReplyDeleteI can see the shirt now, "RUNS WITH EDGERS!" Watch out world, it's time for yard maintenance at Dew's.
I've decided not to update today. There is nothing going on in the tropics, lots of not expected and if any, it'll be slow, so this entry will serve as today's post... I am on strike for today, holding out for better weather... oh, and if this is a COLD FRONT... sheesh... someone forgot to let the front know that a cold front is supposed to offer up some colder weather. I'll continue to respond to comments, but this is the post.
ReplyDeleteToodles,
~Dew
I have found some info about the freakish spiders in my yard. They can lay up to 1,300 eggs at once... yep, they gotta go!! Black and Yellow Argiope Information. Scary stuff, even if they aren't a threat to humans.
ReplyDeleteOk..Nuff of this pity party! Cold front? Colder weather? Look at your thermometer. It is almost 12:30 in the afternoon and your sitting at 82F!! What, you want to go back to the days when it as already 95F by 11am?? Oh I am sorry, my thermomenter just dropped to 81F while i was typing! shame on you Dew. Not only are yard Gnomes fleeing the neighborhood. Peta(People for the Ethical Treatment of Arichnids) are planning a protest march in Hahira! Go out side hug a spider enjoy the the cool temps and dont make me come down ther young lady!!
ReplyDeleteGee, i feel much better now...;-P
Don't hold back, Rick. Tell us how you really feel. You have to admit that you were expecting cooler temps... I am sort of disappointed that it's not cooler. It is beautifully breezy though. I might actually drive some without A/C today.
ReplyDeleteLOLOL!! It's the Dew dust thats in the air.
ReplyDeletelol, Yes at 11 am this morning i was sweating my butt off! Last night thoug we had a beautiful storm roll in im gonna post when i have more time. I give my condolances to the deer but the horsefly how dare he chase you!! I would have done the samr thing!!!messing with a maso momma isnt a good thing!
ReplyDeleteDew dust? lol
ReplyDeleteJess, That's right.... can't be messing with the meso mommas!!!
Whoa! Not a fan of spiders...LOL That spider looks similar to the Banana Spiders I see down here when near the Sugarcane fields.
ReplyDeleteLOL, me neither, Jeff, and you are right on. They are a type of garden spider, banana spiders. Very scary stuff. My exterminator let me watch as they were crippled to their death. Apparently, his chemicals do something to their nervous system, and they go paralyzed from the hind legs up... creepy.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that you would really on purpose kill a few poor spiders. They have such beautiful webs! It can be interesting to watch them, and when they go after the dog, well, that's real excitement! The one in my front yard was only here for a week (he left on his own!)
ReplyDeleteAs far as weather goes, this is the coldest it has been since Dec 1909! Lighten up!
Teresa, You could have come to get them. I would have gladly donated them to your yard. I would much rather watch storms than spiders.
ReplyDeleteIt is finally cooling off. It's nice. Mini-Dew had to wear a sweater. I'm lightening up.
Those are Banana spiders--they get really big AND scary. They bounce on their web when you get too close. I love Charlotte, but I would have probably ran over the whole damn fence it were me. KUDOS on ONLY taking out a lawn ornament!
ReplyDeleteAnnie, I must admit that took great pleasure in watching those scary guests become crippled and fall from their super gigantic webs to their early demise. Thanks for the KUDOS!
ReplyDelete